Gender Equality - from a man's perspective

In general, I think of myself as a very fair person who doesn't discriminate between genders. I guess this is how most of my friends (which are almost all male) would also think. I didn't understand the problem of gender equality and have seen 'feminism' as a distant dictionary word. When I see women shouting for their gender equal rights, I often pass them off thinking that this doesn't concern me as I am a fair person. I am assuming most of other men would do the same. This needs to stop!

I was browsing on a lazy Sunday afternoon and came across a video of Emma Watson which opened up this pandora box in my mind.

1. Is there really a gender inequality problem?
2. What could be the reasons for this problem?
3. Am I part of the problem? Who all are part of the problem?
4. Does this problem affect me?

Source

The problem became pretty evident as I started counting for females in prominent positions in society such as in politics or in top positions in major companies. I couldn't find many. Not even as participants in most of the networking sessions of startups or in travel B2B conferences. How many historical figures we know are women? In my day to day life, I deal with mostly men whether in my office or outside office such as vegetable/grocery vendors, cab drivers, newspaper vendors, etc. Delhi metro has 1 compartment for ladies and the other 7 are mostly filled with men. It is scarily a men's world outside our home. No wonder women don't feel safe outside homes.

What could be the possible reason for this-

• Do women prefer not to lead or not to work outside? 
• Are women not that capable of leading? 
• Did society not give fair opportunities to girls to educate and grow as professionals?
• Do women have more challenging lifestyles (for e.g. women has to bear a child)? 
• Do we have an unjust society system?

I don't know the exact reason but I hear most of the women asking for basic sensitivity towards the issue. They are not asking for some jingbang solutions favoring females such as female reservations or extra socio-political rights. They are just asking for us to understand the issue and being sensitive towards it. I feel we can do that much. Even if we are gender neutral (in our own opinion) we need to create a just society. Each one of us needs to introspect to see if there is any fundamental gap in us, where we have lacked sensitivity till now. When I did self-introspection, I figured am part of the problem too. 

• I am way more friendly to professionals who are males than to females. I feel subconsciously I am over cautious around female co-workers. This indirectly affects professional aspects because even if I am professionally fair, informal relations are part of professional life
• I always feel that Govt. of India's maternity policy is unjust and tilted towards mothers. Govt. has rules for companies to provides 6 months paid maternity leaves. This could have been better implemented with ensuring some returns for the company too, for e.g. a new mother can not switch jobs just after encashing maternity leaves. This may affect my decision subconsciously and bias my gender neutrality

Others may have different unconscious biases if they don't share mine. I was talking to a friend who again was (in his opinion) a gender neutral person. He was much better in interacting with male and female professionals alike. However, his bias surfaced as he felt that women have better emotional sense and that they should primarily be responsible for key household works. Men can't do the same as efficiently. I am sure after some introspection, he would have reached to a better conclusion. Today, men and women alike want to share the household work and share the responsibility of kids. These are statistically proven happy marriages. Such societies are in general more progressive and such countries produce higher GDPs.

"Couples should start having conversations about how they can redistribute unpaid chores more fairly" - Bill Gates [Source]

As for my next question, does gender discrimination affect me as a male? It does. Here are a few real-life snippets where I fall short -

• I feel very awkward when I am the only male among a bunch of females. I experienced it when I went to a trial cardio class and I couldn't actively participate in the class of 10-12 girls
• Apart from interactions with my family and relatives, I don't have much perspective on how females think and act. This problem is particularly bigger in India as, in my opinion, gender awkwardness is higher here. Less perspective leads to even fewer interactions and it becomes a vicious cycle
• I feel that companies are a reflection of their leaders. Amazon has the personality of Jeff and Facebook has that of Zuckerberg. When I see lack of women in top leadership in places I work at, I feel that I have left a gap in the personality of my companies

I remembered a quote from a Ted Talk on gender equality - privilege is usually invisible to those who have it. I feel as a man, it is difficult to see gender discrimination against women. When a woman talks about gender inequality, it seems they are just cribbing like everyone else who is on receiving side. That is why we, as men, need to speak because our voice will make much more impact.

To sum up, we all need to dive in deep within each of us and make our societies a gender neutral place for everyone's good. Women are not asking for a big policy change but just better sensitivity from men. We can do this much.